in the name of zero

i’m sitting here, listening to everybody’s love story.. and wondering, where the hell’s mine?

we planned to go ice skating since last august, and now that christmas is just around the corner… she has to go shopping with her landlady…

on a more lighter note, i’m going back to gentoo come 2008, december marks my half a year’s absence… it’s the waiting that is hard… now i’m lookin for any installer donors out there , i need two. 2007 x86 and 2007 ppc.

cheers

sometime ago, i wished for something hard enough, believing that if i do so, the goddess of wishes will take notice and grant me my heart’s desire. it was a simple wish. as simple as they can get.

nearly three months now and it’s been one thing after another…. but i won’t give up my feelings. as i walk the long boulevard to the bus stop, i imagine a sweet, romantic walk home with her towards the opposite direction…. i’ve always been envious of such a normal common day’s end. this scene constantly keeps on replaying itself in my mind’s t.v. … an elaborate script about the heart-race of confessing my one-sided love to a girl.

i want to see her smile, even if it’s just for a few seconds each day… because somehow, her smile i just mentioned, of day dream proportions… is my very own prayer… that god has always granted. always.

i’m fresh outta college and currently enjoying freedom. (mostly because it took me six years to get through) many of my classmates have said their goodbyes. some have already left carrying with them the promise of employment and all the luxuries and benefits that come with the degree they recently got. at this point though, i’m pretty certain that i won’t be using the calculus and advanced math concepts i learned from school. also the chemistry and some of the physics concepts.

looking at my graduation again this time with my hormones in check, i feel kinda sad that school’s over. afterall, university is the only pace in this city where you can find high quality chicks! usually comes in three flavors:

a) one with all the beauty… and rich.
b) one with all the brains… and rich.
c) one with both all the beauty and all the brains and above all… rich.

that’s that.

for the most part, i’m just slacking off these days, just watching full anime seasons everyday. sometimes, i walk (on my usual route) to the internet cafe near my school to play DoTA. quickly becoming a daily routine if you ask me.

faced with the prospect of getting work soon, my original plan was to make easy money by becoming a call center agent in some company some place up north. actually, i’m still entertained by that idea until now. recruitments will be held this coming april and me and my friends agreed that we’d give it a shot. afterall, the only important requirement is to be “able to speak functional english”.

summer also means that i must again take up a new hobby and/or continue my old ones. usually, i settle for learning a new programming language (of my liking) and doing some fun stuffs with my chosen PL.

coz no one wants a C guy nowadays… i’m practically screwed. so again with the prospect of getting work, i’m giving learning java and “some of the bullshit that comes with it” a shot. that is where the money is “apparently” nowadays. or so i think.

i guess she’s finishing up packing her stuff as i’m typing this entry. she’s going to cebu for a job interview and the thought about not seeing her again and missing her kicked in kinda late. i’m such an asshole.

thinking about her brings back vivid memories of our trip to cagayan! it’s a story i’ll be sure to tell my grandsons if i’ll have any…

this is niel. signing off.

female characters who can’t seem to handle their own feelings screw up a good story’s mood.

exhibit a - chiharu (boys be)

high school love turned sour. apparently, they still remained friends. or at least that’s what i think after the season’s last episode. i hate her.

exhibit b - oboro (kouga ninja scrolls)

oboro was from the iga ninja clan. in the anime version (basilisk), her eyes were known as the “ninja spell breaking eyes”. no form of ninjutsu can work against her. using a ninja technique on her proved to be fatal for the caster. her lover on the other hand also has special eyes. kouga gennosuke of the kouga ninja clan. in the anime version, he is able to use the enemies’ techniques (physical or ninjutsus) against themselves. just by staring at them. at the end of the story, the guy (gennosuke) let oboro win. i hate her.

exhibit d - mikumari (samurai 7)

i hate her.

exhibit e - xiao long nu (return of condor heroes 2006)

acted by “crystal” liu yi fei.

very cute. very pretty. very sexy. godlike gracefulness. excellent martial arts. but she gave yang guo heartaches so painful, it will make even the devil cry. i’m also tempted to say “i hate her”, but (altogether now) very cute. very pretty. very sexy.

exhibit f - so seo no (ju mong)

acted by han hye jin.

now, here’s a girl who’s strong. she’s got the business skills to rival bill gates. seriously. then she began showing signs of weakness later on. she married wu tae to avoid marriage with dae so but she loved ju mong deep down.

i finally finished watching the entire season’s last episode ten minutes ago, and i must say, all that drama about “self exile” and giving way to the rightful “first wife” (ye so ya) was abso-fucking-lutely unecessary. i still haven’t made up my mind if i hate her or not.

so is there any female character out there who’s not pathetic? yup! lacus klein - gundam seed.

thanks for your time.

first and foremost, let me just say that “girls and DoTA” don’t mix.

last friday, i thought i’d treat myself to a hearty game of warcraft at the cheapest rate internet cafe in town (which is only a few walks away from university). i fired up ggclient, and went to play with random people in the public room. a few minutes into the game, two girls came in and occupied the units opposite to where i was sitting. they were giggling to much for their own good… and were obviously excited. i couldn’t see what’s going on in their monitors, but i heard them whinning a few gazzillion times over the fact that the heroes they were controlling died because opponents were cheating in the game.

inside, i was like.. “holy crap! please just go home and practice how to become good mommies someday will ya!?”

yeah…. oh, and girls who bounce when they giggle are stupid.

[ tangrams ]

emerge gtans

will keep me occupied for the time being….

gotta love angela! if god permits… i’d like to offer her a ring someday.

ok, so from where i stand, this is confidential information.

_she_ texted me a month back, about girls, preferring an almost godly finesse of “gentlemenship”. i guess, with every intention to hurt. arguably, it’s a given that _she_ didn’t mean to hurt me. not that it matters, coz i’m here writing this entry now with a hurting heart anyway. sadly, just as i was about to get accustomed to the usual treatment i experience because of her obsession with studying, _she_ came out on the open and nailed me slowly on my tracks with some short text darts. insinuating, yes. and being hard headed and persistent was an option at that time too. i do realize, that even if it took me three fourths of an entire school year to come up with this pre-valentines entry, i’ll still be labeled as an insensitive jackass sour-graping on the pathetic outcome of his own clueless actions. it’s everyone’s prerogative.

now here’s a girl who wants to prove a lot of things about herself. almost seductive (honestly speaking). my infatuation (oh god) has somehow subsided.

“i guess that means no” - i find myself saying just before our data communications class. my heart, racing. my mind, trying to come up with the right kind of exit. i can only assume that i’m just another pain in the ass and being persistent in this case would only make things even worse. i wasn’t really being particularly needy. it’s just that i miss her and all. us walking together to the school gate is now a thing of the past. (and i gotta admit, those times are the closest thing i had to a date besides our trip to cagayan)

i really don’t know what to say. and as you might have already known, this isn’t a particularly insteresting story. leaning toward a rant but perhaps it’s just because of my choice of arrangement of negative words. if only a good samaritan would step up and explain what the fck women are thinking… now that i think about it, that clerk at the drive-in counter at “jollibee camins” looks kinda cute.

now (as i’m typing this) i’m drowning myself on the punk melody that is ‘addicted by simple plan’. playing it over and over again. not a bad way to spend a dateless evening.

- niel

some people argue that yang mi, (guo xiang on roch 2006) is the better dragon girl over liu yi fei (xiao long nu in roch 2006).

to all the conspirators out there, …clearly, you guys are blind.

i mean, yeah, they’re both very pretty, cute.. (and all other words between pretty and cute) young ladies but liu yi fei is tad bit prettier (and cute).

happy birthday my dear. i hope you’ll like my present for you.

[ birthday easter egg asm message ]
just something i whipped up for a special someone…

; 21 is the magic number that will unlock the message
%define	lynkey	21
	
	global lynlyn
section .text
lynlyn
	mov edx, (egreeter-greeter)
	lea ecx, [edx-2]
	lea edi, [greeter]
dmorph
	mov al, [edi]
	xor al, lynkey
	mov [edi], al
	inc edi
loop	dmorph
	
	mov eax, 4
	mov ebx, 1
	mov ecx, greeter
	int 0x80
	
	xor eax, eax
	inc eax
	xor ebx, ebx
	int 0x80
	
section .data
	greeter	\
	db	0x78,0x6c,0x35,0x71,0x70,0x74,0x67,0x35,0x73,0x67,0x7c,0x70
	db	0x7b,0x71,0x35,0x79,0x6c,0x7b,0x79,0x6c,0x7b,0x39,0x1f,0x1f
	db	0x6c,0x7a,0x60,0x32,0x63,0x70,0x35,0x74,0x79,0x62,0x74,0x6c
	db	0x66,0x35,0x77,0x70,0x70,0x7b,0x35,0x61,0x7d,0x70,0x67,0x70
	db	0x35,0x73,0x7a,0x67,0x35,0x78,0x70,0x35,0x70,0x66,0x65,0x70
	db	0x76,0x7c,0x74,0x79,0x79,0x6c,0x1f,0x71,0x60,0x67,0x7c,0x7b
	db	0x72,0x35,0x78,0x6c,0x35,0x79,0x7a,0x62,0x70,0x66,0x61,0x35
	db	0x78,0x7a,0x78,0x70,0x7b,0x61,0x66,0x3b,0x1f,0x7c,0x35,0x76
	db	0x7a,0x60,0x79,0x71,0x35,0x7b,0x7a,0x61,0x35,0x74,0x66,0x7e
	db	0x35,0x73,0x7a,0x67,0x35,0x74,0x35,0x77,0x70,0x61,0x61,0x70
	db	0x67,0x35,0x73,0x70,0x78,0x74,0x79,0x70,0x35,0x73,0x67,0x7c
	db	0x70,0x7b,0x71,0x3b,0x1f,0x6c,0x7a,0x60,0x35,0x78,0x74,0x6c
	db	0x35,0x7b,0x70,0x63,0x70,0x67,0x35,0x72,0x70,0x61,0x35,0x61
	db	0x7a,0x35,0x67,0x70,0x74,0x71,0x35,0x61,0x7d,0x7c,0x66,0x39
	db	0x35,0x77,0x60,0x61,0x35,0x7c,0x7b,0x76,0x74,0x66,0x70,0x35
	db	0x6c,0x7a,0x60,0x35,0x71,0x7a,0x3b,0x3b,0x3b,0x1f,0x7c,0x35
	db	0x7f,0x60,0x66,0x61,0x35,0x62,0x74,0x7b,0x7b,0x74,0x35,0x66
	db	0x74,0x6c,0x35,0x61,0x7d,0x74,0x7b,0x7e,0x35,0x6c,0x7a,0x60
	db	0x35,0x73,0x7a,0x67,0x35,0x77,0x70,0x7c,0x7b,0x72,0x35,0x78
	db	0x6c,0x35,0x77,0x70,0x66,0x61,0x35,0x73,0x67,0x7c,0x70,0x7b
	db	0x71,0x3b,0x1f,0x65,0x79,0x70,0x74,0x66,0x70,0x35,0x71,0x7a
	db	0x7b,0x32,0x61,0x35,0x70,0x63,0x70,0x67,0x35,0x76,0x7d,0x74
	db	0x7b,0x72,0x70,0x3b,0x35,0x74,0x7b,0x71,0x35,0x7c,0x73,0x35
	db	0x61,0x7d,0x70,0x35,0x71,0x74,0x6c,0x35,0x76,0x7a,0x78,0x70
	db	0x66,0x35,0x62,0x7d,0x70,0x7b,0x1f,0x6c,0x7a,0x60,0x32,0x79
	db	0x79,0x35,0x73,0x7c,0x7b,0x74,0x79,0x79,0x6c,0x35,0x62,0x74
	db	0x79,0x7e,0x35,0x71,0x7a,0x62,0x7b,0x35,0x61,0x7d,0x70,0x35
	db	0x7c,0x66,0x79,0x70,0x35,0x62,0x7c,0x61,0x7d,0x35,0x74,0x7b
	db	0x7a,0x61,0x7d,0x70,0x67,0x35,0x72,0x60,0x6c,0x39,0x1f,0x7c
	db	0x35,0x66,0x62,0x70,0x74,0x67,0x35,0x7c,0x32,0x79,0x79,0x35
	db	0x76,0x67,0x6c,0x3b,0x35,0x7d,0x70,0x32,0x66,0x35,0x61,0x7d
	db	0x70,0x35,0x79,0x60,0x76,0x7e,0x7c,0x70,0x66,0x61,0x35,0x72
	db	0x60,0x6c,0x35,0x7a,0x7b,0x35,0x70,0x74,0x67,0x61,0x7d,0x35
	db	0x77,0x70,0x76,0x74,0x60,0x66,0x70,0x35,0x7a,0x73,0x35,0x6c
	db	0x7a,0x60,0x3b,0x1f,0x1f,0x7d,0x74,0x65,0x65,0x6c,0x35,0x27
	db	0x24,0x35,0x61,0x7d,0x7a,0x60,0x72,0x7d,0x61,0x73,0x60,0x79
	db	0x35,0x6c,0x70,0x74,0x67,0x66,0x35,0x72,0x7a,0x79,0x71,0x7c
	db	0x79,0x7a,0x76,0x7e,0x66,0x3b,0x3b,0x35,0x70,0x66,0x61,0x70
	db	0x35,0x79,0x6c,0x7b,0x61,0x60,0x61,0x34,0x1f,0x1f,0x7c,0x32
	db	0x79,0x79,0x35,0x7e,0x70,0x70,0x65,0x35,0x6c,0x7a,0x60,0x35
	db	0x76,0x79,0x7a,0x66,0x70,0x35,0x61,0x7a,0x35,0x78,0x6c,0x35
	db	0x7d,0x70,0x74,0x67,0x61,0x35,0x61,0x7c,0x79,0x79,0x35,0x61
	db	0x7d,0x70,0x35,0x71,0x74,0x6c,0x35,0x7c,0x35,0x71,0x7c,0x70
	db	0x3b,0x1f,0x1f,0x66,0x7c,0x72,0x7b,0x70,0x71,0x2f,0x1f,0x35
	db	0x38,0x35,0x7b,0x7c,0x70,0x79,0x35,0x74,0x7b,0x61,0x7d,0x7a
	db	0x7b,0x6c,0x35,0x70,0x35,0x74,0x76,0x60,0x7b,0x74,0x3b,0x35
	db	0x25,0x23,0x3a,0x27,0x24,0x3a,0x25,0x23,0x0a,0x00
	egreeter